Comments::
Mr. Big is supposed to be a chocolate bar. In actuality, it looks like a giant piece of SHIT in a yellow foil wrapper. I was scared to eat the damn thing, I thought they were marketing us eight inch long Lincoln Logs for a second. Taking a tentative bite, I realize it is not QUITE as bad as it looks. It's a damn good thing there's nougat in the middle, or it'd definitely resemble its counterpart even more.
And what the hell exactly is "nougat"? The ad claims to have this in it, but does anyone really know what the hell this is? Does the ingredient list help at all? Who can tell, they only list about eighteen kinds of sugar. Sugar, Glucose, Fructose, Glucose-Fructose (what the hell is that), serious,ly, it's not good for your health. Hell, they could write crap on there like Bractose, Croptose, Corntose, nobody would bat an eye. The only way I'll ever eat one of these is at gunpoint.
It's not a total loss though. There is one great way to enjoy a Mr. Big bar. Grab a few, unwrap 'em, and then toss them in your local swimming pool/crowded beach. When I said they look like nutty logs of shit, I was not kidding. Then get the hell out of Dodge City, and sit back and watch the fun. If you're feeling daring (and nobody saw you or has noticed yet) you can shout "EEEEWW, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT" and point. That should draw attention to it and get the reaction you're looking for. The best part is, it's just a chocolate bar, so they float easy. If you want to gross everyone out, you can go grab one and take a bite. React as you want.
|
